Claiming, breaking and creating : a visual response to the experience of constructed social and spatial constraints
Master Thesis
2003
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University of Cape Town
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Abstract
My personal experiences of patriarchal abusive behaviour have shaped and affected me. Two things in my formative schooling years marked the beginning of deep emotional disturbances in my life. Firstly, the vulnerability of being a female schoolgirl, constantly trapped in fear by threats of potentially abusive boys both within and without school premises. The 'old boys', as we would refer to them, instilled in me a negative attitude towards men that has affected me in later life. Secondly, my Sub A teacher who welcomed me with a 'klap' on my first day at school. This was followed by a long year of misery. I found myself going through a journey of broken emotions that resulted in years of aggressive behaviour, creating havoc in my family. This disturbing turbulence led me to seek internal liberation in order to analyse and deal with my emotional state. My health became affected by constant headaches and other stress related conditions. In addition to these formative experiences is my experience as a fine art student at the University of Fort Hare. Like many other black people in South Africa, I entered the field of fine art at a tertiary level with no prior art training. My early work was informed by social concerns and focused thematically on the upbringing of children in a safe and conducive environment. This idea emanated from what I observed and perceived as the submissiveness and subordination of women in my neighbourhood, either as mothers or as girlfriends. The failure for women to stand up to their authoritative, abusive husbands has detrimental effects on children. One of the reasons being that children ' ... attempt to protect a mother who is being attacked by a male companion or a husband, or they are emotionally damaged by witnessing violence and abuse' (hooks 2000: 72). Once I had obtained my undergraduate degree I enrolled at the University of Cape Town for an HDE (Higher Diploma in Education in pursuit of my career). That was a distressing experience. I constantly felt alienated from the tutorial group as I was the only black person in the art tutorial class. This was my first involvement with 'white establishment'. Language and culture, among other things, created a gap and a barrier between my classmates and myself and I discovered that this was the case with other black students also from Fort Hare. Unlike at Fort Hare, I could not easily approach lecturers at UCT to discuss problematic areas concerning my studies. At the time there was only one male black lecturer, who only came in for a section in the Psychology of Education course. Entering UCT felt for me like an act of trespass. I made up my mind that I would not allow myself to feel as if I was at UCT under protest. It is this approach that is the impetus for this dissertation.
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Bibliography: leaves 83-86.
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Qangule, T. 2003. Claiming, breaking and creating : a visual response to the experience of constructed social and spatial constraints. University of Cape Town.